What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapy approach?

At the moment, this fascinating evidence-based therapeutic modality has blossomed all over the world. In a sea of many psychotherapeutic modalities, why does IFS stand out?

What we resist, persists

What is in the way IS the way

Our inner landscape

Does IFS resonate with you?

What we resist, persists

As a person on my own healing journey, as well as a psychotherapist assisting others on their journeys, I always had a deep interest in modalities that actually WORKED. Early on I realised that there were many tools and approaches available, but a lot of them seemed to be merely band-aid solutions that would help ease the pain a little bit but not really create long-lasting change.

I discovered that, unless the underlying cause of the suffering was acknowledged and healed, the symptoms were bound to repeat- whether in the same form or creatively finding new ways of expressing themselves. And, oh wow, how creative our psyches and bodies can be in that expression- like a frustrating whack-a-mole game where new symptoms pop up almost as soon as we extinguish the fires of the previous ones. Some psychotherapeutic tools I encountered were like Panadol which temporarily reduced the fever and pain, but the infection was still raging deep inside. It was only about time before the symptoms reappeared again.

I often heard clients repeating “I KNOW EXACTLY what I am SUPPOSED to do to get better, on a logical level. Why can’t I just DO IT?!” That was especially true for mental health issues like addictions and eating disorders, characterised by strong ambivalence. Those clients would often beat themselves up for not being able to change their behaviour, and having an impact on their loved ones, harshly attributing that perceived “failure” to heal to the lack of willpower and strength.

Working in the field of addictions and eating disorders for many years, I also knew that something did not quite add up there. Many of those clients displayed incredible intelligence, resilience, willpower, and strength in many other areas of their lives. If the solution was that simple, they would have found it a long time ago. What was missing?

What is in the way IS the way

My first encounter with IFS left a deep mark on me, a spark of hope that ignited a real flame of love for this approach. I (and all my parts) had a sigh of relief when I realised that, instead of trying to forcefully push things away and get rid of them, there was a gentler, kinder, and much more EFFECTIVE way. Compassion and acceptance of all parts leading to collaboration was now possible in a place where there previously was only a violent inner battlefield. I witnessed that sigh of relief and deep resonance in many clients, again and again over time. It was like being reminded of the truth that we had forgotten about a long time ago.

Our inner landscape

Dr Richard (Dick) Schwartz started developing the IFS model in the 1980s. He was inspired and humbly taught by his clients. One of his clients with bulimia shared that they had “parts that wanted one thing, and other parts that wanted another” which inspired him to start considering the multiplicity of the mind. He also realised that the more he tried to control or fight those parts (like self-harming parts), the more they would backlash. He realised that instead of working against them, he needed to work WITH them and gain their trust and permission to access the deeply wounded parts they were protecting. Once those wounds were released and healed, the parts would often become less extreme, and could now work in balance and moderation, bringing their unique gifts to the system.

An interesting thing Dick observed was that sometimes, the clients would access the state that did not seem like other parts. When asked to describe or get to know this “part”, the clients would state “This is not a PART of me, it is ME”.

This state had particular qualities (now called the 8 Cs, but in addition to those, there are many more we can observe):

Curiosity

Compassion

Courage

Clarity

Confidence

Connectedness

Calm

Creativity.

Dick called this Non-Part “Self” (with a capital “S”) and observed, through many sessions, that it seemed to always be there, even when the client was temporarily unable to access it. Even when the inner landscape of the client was shadowed by the clouds, when the parts stepped aside, the Self would organically and naturally emerge, like the sun behind the clouds. Dick realised that the Self existed even in severely traumatised clients, and this non-part of them was unharmed and had an incredible ability to heal the wounded parts and bring back balance into the system.

Dick also realised that there seemed to exist a few different categories of parts in inner systems. Some of them seemed to be Protectors, either proactively trying to prevent the triggers (Managers) or abruptly jumping on the scene to put out the fire when the triggers already occurred, and the pain was threatening to flood the system (Firefighters). Both types of protectors had one thing in common- their intention was BENEFICIAL for the system, and they were trying to protect and help the system the way they knew (even if that sometimes, in extreme versions, brought harm to the system). Even when the behaviours had severe and harmful consequences (like in the example of addictions, aggression, compulsive behaviours, even self-harm or suicide ideation), their INTENTION behind it was good. And getting to know the intention seemed to be the key.  They were meant to be acknowledged, listened to and accepted without judgement in order to start feeling safe and perhaps even start considering giving space to the Self to step into the scene and take care of the system.

With their permission, Dick was able to access the wounded parts called Exiles (often very young ones) who were carrying deep beliefs and burdens acquired through trauma. The good news was, once the Self stepped in, this powerful presence and energy had the ability to help release those burdens and heal those wounded parts.

Usually, as a result of that deep healing, the previously extreme parts would spontaneously give up the extreme behaviours and take on other, more helpful roles that would allow them to bring out their gifts to the system. For example, The Addiction part would now have the intention to bring fun, pleasure and enjoyment to the system, and ensure that balance was achieved. The Perfectionist, previously harshly rigid and punitive on any sign of imperfection, would now take on the role of a guide, setting goals and aiming to achieve them, and reminding the system of the importance of direction and growth in life.

Does IFS resonate with you?

Continue reading about 10 things I love about IFS. If you feel that this modality may be a good fit for you and are curious about it, feel free to get in touch. If you have any questions or would like to book a session, reach out to hello@mihaelahomjak.com.au .